Wedding Day-mares!!

9 Jan

 

They have begun.

The freakish, hellish, tossing turning, animated images in your brain that so slickly enter into your dreams and disappear as soon as your eyes open. Not this time though. I remember almost every detail.

The dream begins at my reception. Everything looks blurry around us, but it must be in place because I’m with my groom and we’re having a great time. We have a weird 1st dance, then we go to the back of the room for a seat. Then it hits me. Where is the photographer? I haven’t snapped one photo, and my makeup is already started to ruin. I go to my mom and ask: The photographer has been there for more than an hour. What?? He hasn’t come to me once! We track him down to take a photo, and all of a sudden I have on my glasses. I take off my glasses to snap a photo, and my makeup is ruined on the bridge of my nose. No worries, can be corrected by smudging. The photographer has a gang of three friends and they are stumbling around with a large spotlight trying to focus on me to snap one photo. As I smile to take the picture, something out the corner of my eye takes my attention.

My grooms shoes: They are ho-rr-i-ble. They’re like black Converse remixed with Keds. A perfectly suitable pair of shoes are within his reach, but when I ask about those, he shouts “They don’t match!” then throws them across the room. O.k. Fine. Then I look on his left hand. No ring. O.M.G. I never got his wedding band! It’s his wedding day, and he has no wedding band. I never got him one!! Ok, so no wedding band photos, what else could go wrong?

I move on and walk around to greet guests. That’s when I see my friends. Ah, my friends were able to travel 5 hours and share in this day. How fantastic! As I approach, I see the tears in their eyes. Ah, that’s expected! I mean, I’m sure I look pretty darn gorgeous and they just can’t stand it. Yes, it’s me guys. It’s really me! šŸ™‚ One of my closest friends take me by the hands, (by this time her tears are a bit excessive, and I’m starting to think she is pouring it on) and takes me to the bathroom. I follow.

We enter the restroom and she stammers through her tears and makes out “Your..dress”. I’m like…what?? She turns me and I look behind myself into the mirror..and see that my dress is torn at the waist…exposing BOTH buttocks!!

Then I awake.

Just 305 more days of this left Public.

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4 Responses to “Wedding Day-mares!!”

  1. Lenka Podolanova January 10, 2011 at 6:16 am #

    Well, I have to say, I have sincerely enjoyed your dream šŸ™‚

    Although, I hope and believe that your wedding will be much better than the dream. Dreams are usually just reflection of our fears and whatever we were thinking before going to sleep.

    So this dream show nothing less or more than your caring heart for this special day šŸ™‚

  2. thegracefulskinny January 10, 2011 at 7:45 am #

    You poor thing!

  3. milieus January 10, 2011 at 4:03 pm #

    Oh no! I’m glad I haven’t had any of these yet. I hope your dreams get better!

  4. Public Fat January 10, 2011 at 11:29 pm #

    LOL glad you enjoyed the dream!! My mom couldn’t stop laughing as I recalled it. It’s crazy b/c I remember almost every single detail!! I won’t allow this wedding to haunt me lol!

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